Reflections From Being Away From New York City
Being at home in California has prompted many reflections
I am lucky to be back home in California, enjoying a much needed break from New York City. As exciting as it has been to watch New York come roaring back to life, the 2021 year thus far has been exhausting nonetheless for many reasons. I’ve personally been looking forward to this retreat for months. The settings of Manhattan and the San Fransisco suburbs couldn’t be anymore different which has lead to a lot of reflection over the past days. Here are some of the things that I’ve been thinking about lately.
Things I miss about New York:
The walkability. I could easily walk 10k+ steps any day. As big and immense as New York is, it remains surprisingly reachable, instilling an empowered sense of access that I don’t feel in other places. Being able to walk everywhere for pizza, dumplings, or coffee walking changes everything. This is the first time that I’ve lived in a neighborhood that didn’t primarily rely on cars. Even just walking down the street to pick up groceries instead of driving to a grocery store complete transforms your relationship with the place. Instead of driving from point A to point B (and essentially skipping everything in between if you take a car), you begin recognizing faces, the daily routine of the businesses on your street, and the smells and noises associated with your street from the smells of incense and pastries in the morning to buses honking to squeeze through the narrow street in the afternoon, to the sound of the lone subway rattling across the bridge at night.
The energy. The hustle and bustle is certainly unlike any other city that I’ve stayed in in the US. At its best, the energy helps get me going, motivates me to get moving. The number of endless communities at your fingertips make New York feel like an exhilarating endless exploration. 2 years in, this need to explore has only deepened for me.
The difficult questions. New York has pushed my comfort zone in yet another way; by reflecting on questions that I hadn’t thought to ask before around impact, communities, and the opportunities withheld. Even as I write about the access and walkability of the city, New York Remains the 9th most segregated city in the US by the Othering & Belonging Institute at the University of California Berkeley. As much fun as New York is, there are many unsettling realities to reckon with. Although contemplating on these realities, your impact in the, and what it could mean for the future aren’t fun or easy, they contribute to an overall slow growth and desire to learn more about communities and histories. I’ve come to realize that there is more work that I need to do; more histories that I haven’t uncovered. This final point on exposure to difficult questions isn’t unique to New York City; I could have come to similar conclusions in any place across the United States. Still, New York’s history is steeped in so many stories and narratives. Did you know about the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village or the history of squatters in Lower East Side?
Things I like about being in California:
It’s quiet. Unbelievably quiet. The lack of car horns, dirt bikes, and people yelling at each other has introduced a divine calm.
It’s a joy to be outside. I was cold for the first time in months (in a good way) and it felt nice to finally throw a jacket on but still relish the crisp air. I learned that in 2017, San Francisco became the first city in the nation to have a park within a 10 min walking distance for all residents. Despite the fact that I’m not suppose to run due to an injury, I fully enjoyed a run I had under the palms, oaks, eucalyptuses, and a beaming sun.
Seeing friends in the first time in 2 years. My incredible time here has certainly been biased given the long overdue reunions with friends. My ability to make objective comparisons between New York and California is tainted with these reunions. I still don’t quite understand how we can just pickup where we left off after all this time but I guess that’s how these things work.
It’s hard to list out more specific things for things I like about being in California. As I said, I’m finding it hard to be objective here. But I don’t have spots here, I’m not as familiar with this place, I’m not a regular anywhere they know my name. Yet, other qualities have made it feel comfortable and familiar in different ways. Something feels “right” about this place, and my inability to put it into words and a bulleted list is making me think that I’ll revisit this post again in the future. A long standing question for me has been where will I settle down in the future. My latest trip back to California has gotten me thinking about where I see myself in the future.
I still have a number of questions in mind. How do you think about these questions?:
I’ve heard the advice that it’s good to leave your home town for a few years. How do you know it’s been long enough?
How do you know where you belong? How can you tell where you will belong in the future? How do you think about your future goals?
Finally, here are some of my favorite Bay Area movies(in no particular order):
Harold and Maude (1971) - If you love dark humor here you go
The Last Black Man In San Francisco (2019) - You can’t hate it if you don’t love it
Zodiac (2007) - Not many people have basements in California
Fruitvale Station (2013) - *I haven’t seen this movie yet. I’ll be honest, I’m scared to watch it
The Pursuit of Happiness (2006) - He must have had some really nice pants
Big Hero Six (2014) - Tadashi
Moneyball (2011) - He gets on base
Until next time
-Kyle